Monday, March 12, 2012

when shapeshifters ceases to be sexy...

Okay so we've all enjoyed a shape shifter (or two) in our fantasy library. but when does shapeshifting cease to be sexy?
Well believe it or not boys and girls, there is a limit to this sexy anomaly of nature and yes- that is exsactly what we are going to cover in todays lesson.

It all started with were-wolves. Sexy men that change into wolf at the fullmoon of night and chase after their human mates to claim them in an unbreakable bond of exquisite unending sexual ecstacy and (yes dare I say it 'Happy Ever After' love). Their mystery, prowess and dark folklore allure arrouses us more that any other shapeshifter to take the stage of erotica and fantasy.
So yes wolf shifters are sexy. As are lions, tigers and panthers.  Bears? Not so much, (but thats me personally I cringe at the site of a hairy man - ouuhh hibby jibbies) but bears stay on the list for those of you who cherish fond memories of masturbating to images of a strappy hairy, 7ft tall Paul Bunyon in leathers and old spice or of Grizzy Adams stretched out before the fire on a bear skin rug (or was that a bear on Grizzly Adams?)  when you were just a wee tad pole.
Even the raven, hawk and eagle can maintain some honorable mention in this, but what i dont get. WHat baffles me beyond any comprimise of comprehension is when I read a book that is clearly in the erotica genre and the shapeshifter is a PENGUIN???
Are you serious?!?!?!?

Penguins are not sexy. They do not belong in erotica. Especially after a douible apperance in Pixar children films. I mean come on for the love of god -- DO NOT DILUTE OUR ROMANTIC SMUT!!! Want cute watch a disney movie.

That goes for were-wallabee's, were-koalas, were-bumble bees (so-totaly baffled on that one), were-seals and (the formentioned below) were-Seahorses.  I'm sorry but a blurb about a pregnant seahorse shapeshifting man and a shark shifter man? I dont care how many 5 star reviews it gets-- I not only lost my hard-on I think its damaged.
And I'm not even going to comment on the were-boar...

I'm gonna go read the book about raffe and Torin and hope it offers a cure.


  1. LMAO! My sentiments also. Enjoy the book.

  2. Let not forget the dolphin's! I just read a short on them......